I did my breathing, visualizations (sort of), and calisthenics and jogging around the house. Good stuff. It's definitely feeling like a habit, because the first thing I want to do when I get out of bed is exercise. Now if only I would get out of bed a little earlier, that would help.
I think I ought to forget architecture, or at least forget working for a firm. They are so hide-bound, most firms. Some of them are lucky and get to do really cutting edge work, but most of them don't. And building as a process is terribly hide-bound. I mean, there's no getting around some of the work, cutting, bricklaying, etc. But I can say from experience, the inefficiencies within the administrative process, as well as the very weird position architects find themselves (carving out a tiny fiefdom between the contractor and owner) is enough to make a sane person pack up their bags and head for the nearest saloon. Not sure where that imagery came from.
Anyway, what am I thankful for today? People! I had three people with whom I created good relationships with in my former job email me sort of out of the blue to chat. I think it's that beginning of the new year thing, but nevertheless, it's really nice to know people are interested in you, for whatever reason. Especially if you live out in the sticks... Anyway, people are an interesting conduit to seeing things from other perspectives, a way of finding a way outside of yourself, because honestly, staying within your own narrow perspective can be deadly. And people are generally helpful. They each have their own problems and issues they have to deal with, but by and large, if you ask, someone out there will come through with an answer or some kind of help. It may not be what you want, but it just might be what you need. To paraphrase the Stones...
"People, needing people, are the luckiest people..." from some musical....
Yay, people!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Day 11 - Sun
I think I hit about 30 minutes of exercise, but a lot of it was stretching and getting the body comfortable more than raising the heart rate up seriously. Nevertheless, it's becoming a very welcome habit to wake up, visualize cool seafoam green energy healing my body, doing breathing meditations and then getting up and walking around my house and doing calisthenics and jogging in place. No jumping jacks today.
Last night, I went out with friends to a thing called Green Drinks. Not really sure about the moniker (sustainability, mixing with like-minded people, blah, blah, blah, very nice), but for me, it was really just a chance to get out and see people, meet new ones, something I desperately need to keep doing. Now, they had free food, which I love. Free food has been one of the highlights of my existence for a long time. It's a little odd, but perhaps only because of the degree to which it is a highlight - free food ranks about as highly as, say, a winning lottery ticket for a $100. And just as 99% of the time you would not reject the winning lottery ticket, I typically would not turn down free food, no matter what kind of diet I'm trying to stay on.
(I note to myself that there is some impulsivity here that probably ought to be controlled...I think of the mice and peanut butter on snap traps...)
The free food offering was meatballs, pigs in blankets (I love those too much) and ziti with sauce. What is it about free food and ziti with sauce? I have to assume that it's quite cheap to be so ubiquitous in the free food selection. But you find it so frequently as the "vegetarian" selection in catered food, whether at a buffet, a served dinner, or even in fancy prix fixes that there must be something about it beyond being cheap and easy to make. Tasty? The reviews must be mixed. The ziti I had last night was fine by me, though I wouldn't vouch for other people's tastes. But more than once, I have come across ziti that was overcooked, mushy like watered cardboard with congealed sticky tomato sauce that bind the limp cardboard-y pieces of pasta together, a bit like filler paste or caulking more than food. In the end, I really don't think it's about how it tastes, or even how easy it is to make so much as how iconic it is in the free food pantheon. In the end, I think ziti with sauce makes repeat appearances because of a lack of creativity on the part of the free-food offering community, loosely called. Then again, I suppose the argument could be made (perhaps should be made) that creativity comes at a premium. Hmm, creatives should probably agree, but shouldn't being creative be the default? (ah, another discussion, another time...)
How about rigatoni with salt, pepper, Italian herbs tossed with extra virgin olive oil? Mmmm! Super easy, super tasty, can be served hot or cold. Or rotini with chopped red onion, mixed chopped vegetables, tossed in a light vinaigrette? So many ways to go about this...
Anyway, I was a little afraid that eating that food would adversely affect my pain, but it seems to have been ok. I feel a wee bit puffy today, which I assume is because of the salt and animal fats. But I actually felt worse before the event, possibly because I went with a friend to IKEA. Not sure if the friend or IKEA had anything to do with the pain? One thing I know for sure, though, is that between visualizations and exercise, the pain is ameliorated.
Today I am grateful for sunshine. Yes, very prosaic selection, I understand, and you might see that it's been a tempting topic for a few days. But what an effect on mood sunshine has. I was thinking about how many people in the northeast and cold northerly states want to be somewhere else during the winter, and I fully understand this. However, as I sit in my house on this January day with an exterior temperature of 32 degF, and an interior temperature of not much more, the sun is shining and reflecting off the yellow siding and white trim of my house which I can see out the window just beyond my computer screen. It's lovely - really, truly, lovely. The brightness of the white muntins, the faded yellow of the vinyl siding, the sheer brightness of the sun - I can only use a comparison of other senses. It's like a cool refreshing drink, a tonic that brings instant relief, a soft warm blanket. It's energy directly imbibed through the eyes into the body, and taking a moment to really see it, I feel the sun's energy as a healing force. That's something to be grateful for, no?
Last night, I went out with friends to a thing called Green Drinks. Not really sure about the moniker (sustainability, mixing with like-minded people, blah, blah, blah, very nice), but for me, it was really just a chance to get out and see people, meet new ones, something I desperately need to keep doing. Now, they had free food, which I love. Free food has been one of the highlights of my existence for a long time. It's a little odd, but perhaps only because of the degree to which it is a highlight - free food ranks about as highly as, say, a winning lottery ticket for a $100. And just as 99% of the time you would not reject the winning lottery ticket, I typically would not turn down free food, no matter what kind of diet I'm trying to stay on.
(I note to myself that there is some impulsivity here that probably ought to be controlled...I think of the mice and peanut butter on snap traps...)
The free food offering was meatballs, pigs in blankets (I love those too much) and ziti with sauce. What is it about free food and ziti with sauce? I have to assume that it's quite cheap to be so ubiquitous in the free food selection. But you find it so frequently as the "vegetarian" selection in catered food, whether at a buffet, a served dinner, or even in fancy prix fixes that there must be something about it beyond being cheap and easy to make. Tasty? The reviews must be mixed. The ziti I had last night was fine by me, though I wouldn't vouch for other people's tastes. But more than once, I have come across ziti that was overcooked, mushy like watered cardboard with congealed sticky tomato sauce that bind the limp cardboard-y pieces of pasta together, a bit like filler paste or caulking more than food. In the end, I really don't think it's about how it tastes, or even how easy it is to make so much as how iconic it is in the free food pantheon. In the end, I think ziti with sauce makes repeat appearances because of a lack of creativity on the part of the free-food offering community, loosely called. Then again, I suppose the argument could be made (perhaps should be made) that creativity comes at a premium. Hmm, creatives should probably agree, but shouldn't being creative be the default? (ah, another discussion, another time...)
How about rigatoni with salt, pepper, Italian herbs tossed with extra virgin olive oil? Mmmm! Super easy, super tasty, can be served hot or cold. Or rotini with chopped red onion, mixed chopped vegetables, tossed in a light vinaigrette? So many ways to go about this...
Anyway, I was a little afraid that eating that food would adversely affect my pain, but it seems to have been ok. I feel a wee bit puffy today, which I assume is because of the salt and animal fats. But I actually felt worse before the event, possibly because I went with a friend to IKEA. Not sure if the friend or IKEA had anything to do with the pain? One thing I know for sure, though, is that between visualizations and exercise, the pain is ameliorated.
Today I am grateful for sunshine. Yes, very prosaic selection, I understand, and you might see that it's been a tempting topic for a few days. But what an effect on mood sunshine has. I was thinking about how many people in the northeast and cold northerly states want to be somewhere else during the winter, and I fully understand this. However, as I sit in my house on this January day with an exterior temperature of 32 degF, and an interior temperature of not much more, the sun is shining and reflecting off the yellow siding and white trim of my house which I can see out the window just beyond my computer screen. It's lovely - really, truly, lovely. The brightness of the white muntins, the faded yellow of the vinyl siding, the sheer brightness of the sun - I can only use a comparison of other senses. It's like a cool refreshing drink, a tonic that brings instant relief, a soft warm blanket. It's energy directly imbibed through the eyes into the body, and taking a moment to really see it, I feel the sun's energy as a healing force. That's something to be grateful for, no?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Day 10 - ways of communicating
Day 10! Woohoo! Woke up, did some visualizations and breathing exercises in bed, then went straight away to exercising in my pjs and blue fuzzy robe.
The visualizations were along the lines of meditating and bringing healing energy into parts of my body that hurt. Breathing exercises were part of the meditation, to notice breath, use exhalation forcefully, and a couple other interesting breath exercises courtesy of Andrew Weil.
Exercising was 10 minutes of walking around the house and up and down the stairs. Then light stretching and gentle movement before commencing calisthenics. And rounding it all out was another 5 minute jogging spree around the house. It was good.
The book I'm reading by Andrew Weil is called Spontaneous Healing, published in 1995. There are several recommendations I'm taking up including visualization and breathing exercises. It will take a few months, I'm sure, before any results will show up, but at the very least, I do feel that I have some tools with which to fight.
There are many things to be thankful for, not least of which is the sunshine today. But I thought I'd venture into more sophisticated waters and talk about technology. I am grateful for technology because it makes certain things easier and faster, but the greatest reason I am thankful for technology is because it connects me as easily as I want to other people. I'm not excited about Facebook because it's rather too public and too personal at the same time for my tastes. I understand you can control some of the information on there, but I'm perfectly happy with calling people, emailing, and seeing people in person. Actually, the being with people in person is the mode par excellence, in my opinion.
Anyway, we take it all for granted now, cellphones, computers, and satellites, and sometimes, we might think it too much, that in fact, there is too much connectivity. But I think, regardless of the responsibility we have to use these devices wisely, the pleasure and good they confer is great.
The visualizations were along the lines of meditating and bringing healing energy into parts of my body that hurt. Breathing exercises were part of the meditation, to notice breath, use exhalation forcefully, and a couple other interesting breath exercises courtesy of Andrew Weil.
Exercising was 10 minutes of walking around the house and up and down the stairs. Then light stretching and gentle movement before commencing calisthenics. And rounding it all out was another 5 minute jogging spree around the house. It was good.
The book I'm reading by Andrew Weil is called Spontaneous Healing, published in 1995. There are several recommendations I'm taking up including visualization and breathing exercises. It will take a few months, I'm sure, before any results will show up, but at the very least, I do feel that I have some tools with which to fight.
There are many things to be thankful for, not least of which is the sunshine today. But I thought I'd venture into more sophisticated waters and talk about technology. I am grateful for technology because it makes certain things easier and faster, but the greatest reason I am thankful for technology is because it connects me as easily as I want to other people. I'm not excited about Facebook because it's rather too public and too personal at the same time for my tastes. I understand you can control some of the information on there, but I'm perfectly happy with calling people, emailing, and seeing people in person
Anyway, we take it all for granted now, cellphones, computers, and satellites, and sometimes, we might think it too much, that in fact, there is too much connectivity. But I think, regardless of the responsibility we have to use these devices wisely, the pleasure and good they confer is great.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Day 9 - Exercise
Did not require Pandora's services to get going, although was grumpily in pain upon waking up this morning. I really don't think it's my bed. It's soft, but I have a hard board underneath the mattress, so there's good support. Maybe it was the chocolate I had last night? Two small pieces. who knows? Not sure I care.
The remedy was some gentle stretching while reading news this morning, then while I was on hold with the unemployment benefits people, I started in on my regular exercise routine. It's simple simple simple, but it works some muscles, gets motion in all parts of the body, and the jogging around the house at the end really feels like you're doing something. Today I did 5 minutes of jogging and 60 jumping jacks, for a total of 20 full minutes of exercise. After which, I truly felt better. The pains aren't all gone, but at least facing this dreary day isn't quite so onerous.
I should remark that the exercise routine involves some deep breathing, which, if you're at all dehydrated, you should begin first by drinking some warm liquids to soothe your respiratory passages.
So I'm grateful for being able to exercise. I really am. It's in every single health recommendation there is, I'm sure it's even in the bible. (If not, let me know.) And for every single disease, exercise is a possible prevention or cure. For me, it's an antidote to the depressive tendencies that come from a genetic disposition, being unemployed, and living in an area that I will not use profanity to describe in this blog. But I could.
Exercise is about your body. Your body supports all the other functions you have. As fungerbils alluded to before, the body is an amazing thing, all that it does. You know those comic book heroes that have amazing regenerative abilities? Well, we already have that superpower...maybe we don't heal in minutes, but we heal from sickness and injury and we keep going. In Haiti, they pulled out a UN worked from rubble that he had been under for five days, no food and water. To ignore the everyday miracle of our bodies is regrettable. Today, I'm celebrating my body and its incredible regenerative healing properties. Love it, respect it, treat it well. Exercise.
The remedy was some gentle stretching while reading news this morning, then while I was on hold with the unemployment benefits people, I started in on my regular exercise routine. It's simple simple simple, but it works some muscles, gets motion in all parts of the body, and the jogging around the house at the end really feels like you're doing something. Today I did 5 minutes of jogging and 60 jumping jacks, for a total of 20 full minutes of exercise. After which, I truly felt better. The pains aren't all gone, but at least facing this dreary day isn't quite so onerous.
I should remark that the exercise routine involves some deep breathing, which, if you're at all dehydrated, you should begin first by drinking some warm liquids to soothe your respiratory passages.
So I'm grateful for being able to exercise. I really am. It's in every single health recommendation there is, I'm sure it's even in the bible. (If not, let me know.) And for every single disease, exercise is a possible prevention or cure. For me, it's an antidote to the depressive tendencies that come from a genetic disposition, being unemployed, and living in an area that I will not use profanity to describe in this blog. But I could.
Exercise is about your body. Your body supports all the other functions you have. As fungerbils alluded to before, the body is an amazing thing, all that it does. You know those comic book heroes that have amazing regenerative abilities? Well, we already have that superpower...maybe we don't heal in minutes, but we heal from sickness and injury and we keep going. In Haiti, they pulled out a UN worked from rubble that he had been under for five days, no food and water. To ignore the everyday miracle of our bodies is regrettable. Today, I'm celebrating my body and its incredible regenerative healing properties. Love it, respect it, treat it well. Exercise.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Day 8 - Blue Fuzzy Robe
Is it really day 8 already? Well, time to up the ante. We're going for 10 minutes of exercise everyday from here on out. Yes! TEN WHOLE MINUTES!!
I actually did about 20 today. Was trying to think of how to prevent arthritis, and the Internet says gentle, but regular, exercise is one of the keys. The Internet is so smart.
Let's see, today turned on the Pandora, did a bit of wiggling around, some of my regular calisthenics including deep breathing, and then more jogging around in the house and 50 jumping jacks. This was all good. I actually sweated. And I tried a bit of downward dog, gently. I'm mostly worried about arthritis in my hands and arm joints, not sure if downward dog is the best way to treat, but it made sense to try some weight bearing exercises.
I seem to be needing about 10 hours of sleep. I can't tell if this is because I really need 10, or because I get woken up in the middle of the night by the resident mouse. So I have to tell a somewhat gruesome story about the mouse. I have a sneaking suspicion that this mouse is, in fact, the mouse that stole one of my snap trap mouse traps - the kind that snaps the mouse on the back or head and kills them instantly. (I believe this is the most humane mouse trap. And, no, I don't believe in releasing the buggers miles away from the house. That is self-defeating.) A month or so ago, I put out some traps, and a few days later, one of them...disappeared. A few days after the disappearance, I would sometimes hear this really loud clattering noise in different parts of the house. I didn't link it to the mouse right away, but later, after I heard this very loud clattering around for the fourth or so time, I was convinced it was the mouse trap stealer, dragging the trap around inside the walls of my house.
OK, to clarify, my guess is that the trap was snapped shut on the mouse's tail or paw, and it somehow managed to drag it up from the basement floor, up the stone walls of the basement, then vertically up some duct or pipe passageway in a wall, into the plenum of the second floor. Somehow, it freed itself from the trap, and now, struck mad from the trauma of tangling with a snap trap, it runs around (inside the walls of) the house at regular 3 hour intervals starting around 11pm with a maniacal gleam in its eye, chewing things. It is a loud and crazy mouse. I wish it would go for a nice chunk of peanut butter on one of several traps and put me and it out of our collective misery.
Today I am extremely grateful for my blue fuzzy robe. I had been living in coldness without this robe for a few years, and getting progressively sadder, about a variety of problematic things, not the least of which was being cold in the winter. The various other problems served to distract from addressing this fundamental issue, and I was so deep in feeling bad that I did not connect the dots to see that being cold only made the feeling bad about the other things even worse, and vice versa. It took professional help to realize that in the priority of problems, the first one was that I wasn't taking care of my body very well at all, and I had a deep, child-like need to be taken care of that wasn't being met. The situation before the fuzzy robe could be described by painting a picture of a little orphan wearing rags, whose cries for help were not being heard. When I finally understood that it was my job to take care of the little orphan, and what she wanted and needed the most was a fuzzy robe...well, the day we found my fuzzy robe for under $20 was a watershed day. The robe reminds me that sometimes, feeling better is a relatively simple matter, eating, resting, being warm, turning on a light, tuning in to what your body is telling you.
This fuzzy robe is super soft, easily worn over sweats or pajamas, has collar that can be pulled up tight, a belt and pockets, and it is very warm. It not only warms me up quickly, but helps me keep the heat down in the house to conserve energy and keep the bills down. Most importantly, it just feels great. Did I mention that it's blue, super soft and fuzzy?
That's the name of this game, feeling good, better, and great. Peace and blessings.
I actually did about 20 today. Was trying to think of how to prevent arthritis, and the Internet says gentle, but regular, exercise is one of the keys. The Internet is so smart.
Let's see, today turned on the Pandora, did a bit of wiggling around, some of my regular calisthenics including deep breathing, and then more jogging around in the house and 50 jumping jacks. This was all good. I actually sweated. And I tried a bit of downward dog, gently. I'm mostly worried about arthritis in my hands and arm joints, not sure if downward dog is the best way to treat, but it made sense to try some weight bearing exercises.
I seem to be needing about 10 hours of sleep. I can't tell if this is because I really need 10, or because I get woken up in the middle of the night by the resident mouse. So I have to tell a somewhat gruesome story about the mouse. I have a sneaking suspicion that this mouse is, in fact, the mouse that stole one of my snap trap mouse traps - the kind that snaps the mouse on the back or head and kills them instantly. (I believe this is the most humane mouse trap. And, no, I don't believe in releasing the buggers miles away from the house. That is self-defeating.) A month or so ago, I put out some traps, and a few days later, one of them...disappeared. A few days after the disappearance, I would sometimes hear this really loud clattering noise in different parts of the house. I didn't link it to the mouse right away, but later, after I heard this very loud clattering around for the fourth or so time, I was convinced it was the mouse trap stealer, dragging the trap around inside the walls of my house.
OK, to clarify, my guess is that the trap was snapped shut on the mouse's tail or paw, and it somehow managed to drag it up from the basement floor, up the stone walls of the basement, then vertically up some duct or pipe passageway in a wall, into the plenum of the second floor. Somehow, it freed itself from the trap, and now, struck mad from the trauma of tangling with a snap trap, it runs around (inside the walls of) the house at regular 3 hour intervals starting around 11pm with a maniacal gleam in its eye, chewing things. It is a loud and crazy mouse. I wish it would go for a nice chunk of peanut butter on one of several traps and put me and it out of our collective misery.
Today I am extremely grateful for my blue fuzzy robe. I had been living in coldness without this robe for a few years, and getting progressively sadder, about a variety of problematic things, not the least of which was being cold in the winter. The various other problems served to distract from addressing this fundamental issue, and I was so deep in feeling bad that I did not connect the dots to see that being cold only made the feeling bad about the other things even worse, and vice versa. It took professional help to realize that in the priority of problems, the first one was that I wasn't taking care of my body very well at all, and I had a deep, child-like need to be taken care of that wasn't being met. The situation before the fuzzy robe could be described by painting a picture of a little orphan wearing rags, whose cries for help were not being heard. When I finally understood that it was my job to take care of the little orphan, and what she wanted and needed the most was a fuzzy robe...well, the day we found my fuzzy robe for under $20 was a watershed day. The robe reminds me that sometimes, feeling better is a relatively simple matter, eating, resting, being warm, turning on a light, tuning in to what your body is telling you.
This fuzzy robe is super soft, easily worn over sweats or pajamas, has collar that can be pulled up tight, a belt and pockets, and it is very warm. It not only warms me up quickly, but helps me keep the heat down in the house to conserve energy and keep the bills down. Most importantly, it just feels great. Did I mention that it's blue, super soft and fuzzy?
That's the name of this game, feeling good, better, and great. Peace and blessings.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Day 7 - Jazz
5 minutes of dancing to excellent R&B, courtesy of Pandora radio led to several more minutes of jogging in place and jumping jacks. Of all the ways I know of to jumpstart exercise, dancing to your favorite music is the best. Not only is dancing pleasurable and simple (especially in your own living room with curtains drawn, or not, clothing optional), you instinctively use a cross-pattern with your arms and legs: when the left arm goes out, the right leg goes out in the opposite direction, and vice versa. This pattern is inherent in many of the things we bipedal humans do - walking and running, and dancing. To quote Andrew Weil "this type of movement generates electrical activity in the brain that has a harmonizing influence on the whole central nervous system."
What am I grateful for today? Jazz. R&B. That great intersection of rhythms and harmonies and instrumentation that produces a swinging of the hips, a snap in the fingers and a tap in the foot. I actually don't know very much about the genre, only having dabbled in listening to a few fundamental building blocks like Ella and Miles Davis. But what I know is that listening to jazz artists, there is a terrific energy and tempo that matches modern life. Jazz doesn't give you the gigantic swelling forces of nature that classical symphonies do, and obviously, the instrumentation gives you a completely different frame of reference, but classical never gives you such sultry, taffy-like bon-bons the way the jazz repertoire does.
And only jazz completes a dark nightclub with glasses of golden colored liquid and coolly dressed people with a warm, smooth, and relaxed atmosphere. Yummy.
What am I grateful for today? Jazz. R&B. That great intersection of rhythms and harmonies and instrumentation that produces a swinging of the hips, a snap in the fingers and a tap in the foot. I actually don't know very much about the genre, only having dabbled in listening to a few fundamental building blocks like Ella and Miles Davis. But what I know is that listening to jazz artists, there is a terrific energy and tempo that matches modern life. Jazz doesn't give you the gigantic swelling forces of nature that classical symphonies do, and obviously, the instrumentation gives you a completely different frame of reference, but classical never gives you such sultry, taffy-like bon-bons the way the jazz repertoire does.
And only jazz completes a dark nightclub with glasses of golden colored liquid and coolly dressed people with a warm, smooth, and relaxed atmosphere. Yummy.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Day 6 - Student Enthusiasm
Taught some violin today, did a bunch of errands, including grocery shopping which ought to be considered exercise in my opinion. My elbows are sore today.
I'm grateful for my student B. She's 11, but looks around 8. Cute, sweet, and quite into violin, she's only been playing for a few months, but already she's A+ in my book. She's into music generally, and musical instruments, and has a certain aptitude for music. She wants to practice, and she really wants to learn. She will sometimes say that a two-line piece she is learning "sounds cool," which tickles me, because there is so much more cool-sounding stuff out there I can introduce her to. It occurs to me that this kind of receptivity to music is by no means universal, or even particularly common. Maybe it's pushed out of people after a certain age, but I've seen enough students who don't think it sounds cool to know that her interest in music is not super typical.
I could speculate as to why she is oriented this way towards music. I have to admit, it seems that there might be some back story I'm oblivious to that might shed some interesting light on her affinity for music and violin in particular. But, really, I'm just grateful she wants to practice and wants to learn because this way it's much easier for me to teach. In a sense, her enthusiasm and ability to learn are like a key that unlocks the information flow that I have to offer. It reminds me that I have plenty to give...I am rich in my violin knowledge, and as such, I am useful, skilled, and necessary.
Today, I am quite tired, so can't think straight, but somewhere betwixt B., violin, beautiful music, and me, at that point where we all converge, the universe is trying to make a lovely harmony.
I'm grateful for my student B. She's 11, but looks around 8. Cute, sweet, and quite into violin, she's only been playing for a few months, but already she's A+ in my book. She's into music generally, and musical instruments, and has a certain aptitude for music. She wants to practice, and she really wants to learn. She will sometimes say that a two-line piece she is learning "sounds cool," which tickles me, because there is so much more cool-sounding stuff out there I can introduce her to. It occurs to me that this kind of receptivity to music is by no means universal, or even particularly common. Maybe it's pushed out of people after a certain age, but I've seen enough students who don't think it sounds cool to know that her interest in music is not super typical.
I could speculate as to why she is oriented this way towards music. I have to admit, it seems that there might be some back story I'm oblivious to that might shed some interesting light on her affinity for music and violin in particular. But, really, I'm just grateful she wants to practice and wants to learn because this way it's much easier for me to teach. In a sense, her enthusiasm and ability to learn are like a key that unlocks the information flow that I have to offer. It reminds me that I have plenty to give...I am rich in my violin knowledge, and as such, I am useful, skilled, and necessary.
Today, I am quite tired, so can't think straight, but somewhere betwixt B., violin, beautiful music, and me, at that point where we all converge, the universe is trying to make a lovely harmony.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Day 5 - Violins
Did the requisite 5 minutes of exercise. Really wasn't too bad, although I wasn't feeling inclined to do it. I just started, because all I had to do was five minutes, and it ended up being around 8 or 9 minutes total. The (weak) force of habit got me from my beginning stretches to 50 jumping jacks and a slightly elevated heart rate. I realized, too, that having walked around in the Museum of Fine Arts for a few hours yesterday probably tired me out a bit.
Yay!
Also yesterday, my cousin had tickets for the Boston Symphony. I was surprised to find that there's a new player in the violins - no names - but I had a crush on him when we were both high schoolers at Tanglewood. Unbelievable. Both, the crush and that I saw him at the BSO. Anyway, he's married now, and it's exciting to see him attain this milestone in his career. And of course, there's the other violinist I've long held great affection for, H.M. >sigh<
The soloist played the Elgar B minor violin concerto, very Elgar-y. He played the ex-Kreisler Guarneri del Jesu violin. Sweet Jesu, I say. That is one gorgeous sounding violin. (This is what I'm grateful for today.) If you've spent a lot of time listening to violin players in various places and levels, you realize that to achieve the level of sound this violin produces...well, it's one of the miracles of the world. From the first note, there was a reverberance, a clear richness, a layered sonority you don't get from most violins. The articulation was supreme, the response was amazing. The tone was absolutely thrilling - and I don't say these things lightly. There was only one vague flaw in the lower register, an odd buzz or growling sound which could have been the violinist bearing down a bit harder than he needed to, or perhaps the bow. Not a big deal, because the rest of the notes were divine and gorgeous.
I am, having been a violinist for 20 or 30 years depending on how you want to count, rather critical of most violin soloists, unless I know them personally. (Perhaps this is a little knowledge being a bad thing, but this is my blog.) The guy, N. Znaider, is really good, and obviously, deserving to play the instrument. But the instrument, you hear it, and you realize any number of great players could be made to sound supreme if they had this violin. Even I might sound kick ass. Perhaps. I would love to have a chance to try.
There's something else rather important about the violin for me. Hearing it gave me that all-over body tingle. Just for a moment, there was a sense of some perfect alignment in the universe, and I was witness to it. You can't help but be grateful for those opportunities to witness perfection. The body takes in the experience, relaxes, feels the perfect good of it, and is lifted. These moments of perfect alignment are uplifting. Encouraging, heartening. May we all have them, and often. And when we are not having them, let us remember the times we did.
Yay!
Also yesterday, my cousin had tickets for the Boston Symphony. I was surprised to find that there's a new player in the violins - no names - but I had a crush on him when we were both high schoolers at Tanglewood. Unbelievable. Both, the crush and that I saw him at the BSO. Anyway, he's married now, and it's exciting to see him attain this milestone in his career. And of course, there's the other violinist I've long held great affection for, H.M. >sigh<
The soloist played the Elgar B minor violin concerto, very Elgar-y. He played the ex-Kreisler Guarneri del Jesu violin. Sweet Jesu, I say. That is one gorgeous sounding violin. (This is what I'm grateful for today.) If you've spent a lot of time listening to violin players in various places and levels, you realize that to achieve the level of sound this violin produces...well, it's one of the miracles of the world. From the first note, there was a reverberance, a clear richness, a layered sonority you don't get from most violins. The articulation was supreme, the response was amazing. The tone was absolutely thrilling - and I don't say these things lightly. There was only one vague flaw in the lower register, an odd buzz or growling sound which could have been the violinist bearing down a bit harder than he needed to, or perhaps the bow. Not a big deal, because the rest of the notes were divine and gorgeous.
I am, having been a violinist for 20 or 30 years depending on how you want to count, rather critical of most violin soloists, unless I know them personally. (Perhaps this is a little knowledge being a bad thing, but this is my blog.) The guy, N. Znaider, is really good, and obviously, deserving to play the instrument. But the instrument, you hear it, and you realize any number of great players could be made to sound supreme if they had this violin. Even I might sound kick ass. Perhaps. I would love to have a chance to try.
There's something else rather important about the violin for me. Hearing it gave me that all-over body tingle. Just for a moment, there was a sense of some perfect alignment in the universe, and I was witness to it. You can't help but be grateful for those opportunities to witness perfection. The body takes in the experience, relaxes, feels the perfect good of it, and is lifted. These moments of perfect alignment are uplifting. Encouraging, heartening. May we all have them, and often. And when we are not having them, let us remember the times we did.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Day 4 - Habits of Choice
I think I'm entering the territory of new familiarity in this habit-makingness. Four days of a practice isn't really that much, but things are starting to feel familiar in a particular kind of way...the way that says, I can see doing this thing every day for the rest of my life. I find myself looking forward to the day when missing one day feels uncomfortable...that's a habit.
Anyway, I'm starting today with what am I grateful for because I woke up too early and felt uncomfortable for a variety of reasons. I could harp on all the things that were displeasing, but that's not the exercise, is it?
So I'm very grateful for this ability to make habits. It's not the Groundhog Day movie where by force, you have to do the same thing over and over again. I get to choose to make habits. I choose to make certain habits because it's good for me and makes my life better. That's a very very nice thing, and just thinking that feels good. I suppose it's really a combination of two things - 1) having the ability to choose, free will, and 2) being able to make things into habits.
Some people refuse to create good habits, instead allowing chance and external forces dictate the habits they create. They say that they just aren't disciplined enough, or they could never do X, Y or Z. Whatever the obstacle, it always sounds like a self-imposed one, more along the lines of "I don't want to do that." And the reason for not wanting it comes from fear, laziness, a lesser of two evils kind of reasoning. But certainly not for lack of ability to build a habit. Habits are just repeating something enough times that you begin to do the things automatically, nothing more, nothing less. Building habits is a mechanism, a tool, a built-in app that we were pre-programmed with off the factory floor. The wonder and art of building good habits, then, is the deciding to build them in the first place.
Choice. Choosing one thing and sticking to it. You choose something because there is some kind of reward in choosing that thing. Choose chocolate, get chocolate! Choose a hot shower, get a nice warmed up body in return.
What happens when we choose things that are not good for us? When we choose to eat the whole bag of chocolate, instead of stopping at one or two, we are choosing an immediate gratification and forgoing a greater good of healthfulness. We sometimes weigh the two, how great the immediate gratification is versus how great the good of future healthfulness is. That is the problem with long-term good, isn't it? It's in the future, and we have poorer tools for really knowing the future. All we have are past experiences and other people's strong and frequent admonitions. "Last night I ate a bag of chocolates, and the rest of the night, not only was I awake and restless, my stomach felt horrible." "Eat that much chocolate and you will be fat and pimply and die an early and painful death!"
You have to make mistakes. Otherwise, you can't plan well for the future. And then, you have to keep making mistakes, otherwise, you would get bored, you would never learn anything new, and you might as well be in the Groundhog Day movie. Ideally, we learn how to make smaller mistakes...but sometimes that really just means we learn less, too.
This leads me back to brain biology. I think of the formation of habits, and really, informative life experience, as making trails inside your brain, neural network trails. You run a path over and over and over again with a particular experience, and you solidify a groove in your neural network. What is exciting is once you've solidified a groove, you can begin to riff on that groove, and improvise. That's fun. Sometimes, you make a mistake in your improvisation, and it's like you've stubbed your brain toe on an obstacle, making you veer off in a different direction. The critical thing about making mistakes then, is that you find new ways of doing something, but you don't necessarily throw the habit out with the bathwater, so to speak. Somehow, the tension between a habit and new ways of doing things is either a great stimulator or a great demotivator.
There is something about us that enjoys making more things or experiences, complicating things, improvising, creating new, variety, the web of branches, not just a single straight stem. To carry the theme further, it seems important to have the structure of things we have made into habits in order to support the variety. An improvisation always starts on a basic structure, the original theme. It's the imprinting of that theme into our heads that makes the improvisation interesting and exciting, one could argue. Random improvisations don't make a lot of sense, although they can sometimes have moments of great interest.
Well, this random improvisation has gone on long enough. Time for my five minutes of exercise.
The secret of five minutes of exercise, is that you only have to do five minutes, but invariably, I seem to do about 10-20. Today's exercising was about 10, and my minute of jogging in place and minute of jumping jacks was more than a minute each, and I feel better after them than I did yesterday. It's really nice to feel toasty after exercising.
Anyway, I'm starting today with what am I grateful for because I woke up too early and felt uncomfortable for a variety of reasons. I could harp on all the things that were displeasing, but that's not the exercise, is it?
So I'm very grateful for this ability to make habits. It's not the Groundhog Day movie where by force, you have to do the same thing over and over again. I get to choose to make habits. I choose to make certain habits because it's good for me and makes my life better. That's a very very nice thing, and just thinking that feels good. I suppose it's really a combination of two things - 1) having the ability to choose, free will, and 2) being able to make things into habits.
Some people refuse to create good habits, instead allowing chance and external forces dictate the habits they create. They say that they just aren't disciplined enough, or they could never do X, Y or Z. Whatever the obstacle, it always sounds like a self-imposed one, more along the lines of "I don't want to do that." And the reason for not wanting it comes from fear, laziness, a lesser of two evils kind of reasoning. But certainly not for lack of ability to build a habit. Habits are just repeating something enough times that you begin to do the things automatically, nothing more, nothing less. Building habits is a mechanism, a tool, a built-in app that we were pre-programmed with off the factory floor. The wonder and art of building good habits, then, is the deciding to build them in the first place.
Choice. Choosing one thing and sticking to it. You choose something because there is some kind of reward in choosing that thing. Choose chocolate, get chocolate! Choose a hot shower, get a nice warmed up body in return.
What happens when we choose things that are not good for us? When we choose to eat the whole bag of chocolate, instead of stopping at one or two, we are choosing an immediate gratification and forgoing a greater good of healthfulness. We sometimes weigh the two, how great the immediate gratification is versus how great the good of future healthfulness is. That is the problem with long-term good, isn't it? It's in the future, and we have poorer tools for really knowing the future. All we have are past experiences and other people's strong and frequent admonitions. "Last night I ate a bag of chocolates, and the rest of the night, not only was I awake and restless, my stomach felt horrible." "Eat that much chocolate and you will be fat and pimply and die an early and painful death!"
You have to make mistakes. Otherwise, you can't plan well for the future. And then, you have to keep making mistakes, otherwise, you would get bored, you would never learn anything new, and you might as well be in the Groundhog Day movie. Ideally, we learn how to make smaller mistakes...but sometimes that really just means we learn less, too.
This leads me back to brain biology. I think of the formation of habits, and really, informative life experience, as making trails inside your brain, neural network trails. You run a path over and over and over again with a particular experience, and you solidify a groove in your neural network. What is exciting is once you've solidified a groove, you can begin to riff on that groove, and improvise. That's fun. Sometimes, you make a mistake in your improvisation, and it's like you've stubbed your brain toe on an obstacle, making you veer off in a different direction. The critical thing about making mistakes then, is that you find new ways of doing something, but you don't necessarily throw the habit out with the bathwater, so to speak. Somehow, the tension between a habit and new ways of doing things is either a great stimulator or a great demotivator.
There is something about us that enjoys making more things or experiences, complicating things, improvising, creating new, variety, the web of branches, not just a single straight stem. To carry the theme further, it seems important to have the structure of things we have made into habits in order to support the variety. An improvisation always starts on a basic structure, the original theme. It's the imprinting of that theme into our heads that makes the improvisation interesting and exciting, one could argue. Random improvisations don't make a lot of sense, although they can sometimes have moments of great interest.
Well, this random improvisation has gone on long enough. Time for my five minutes of exercise.
The secret of five minutes of exercise, is that you only have to do five minutes, but invariably, I seem to do about 10-20. Today's exercising was about 10, and my minute of jogging in place and minute of jumping jacks was more than a minute each, and I feel better after them than I did yesterday. It's really nice to feel toasty after exercising.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Day 3 - Learning my own maintenance manual
Proving that one can keep habits despite change of locale, I'm in Boston, and I have exercised my requiste several minutes. The one minute of jogging in place is getting slightly easier. SLIGHTLY.
Last night for dinner went to a place called Goody Glover's in Boston's North End. It's semi-Irish pub fare, although they seem to have a smattering of everything in between. My nose caught a whiff of some strong curry dish not long after smelling a delectable burger and fries the next table over. We had two intriguing appetizers - corned beef and cabbage egg rolls with a very nice mustard sauce and also potato bacon scallion spring rolls with hot sauce and sour cream. Very inventive and tasty. Recommend. Also had fish and chips, and I'm happy to report I really held back on the fries. Somewhere in upcoming Habit 4 is laying low on the fried foods.
The big idea, though, with this trip to Boston was that my cousin had bought tickets to see Eddie Izzard, a British transvestite comedian. He is funny. I had seen him in a video before, in full transvestite regalia, and thought he was the funniest guy I'd ever seen, in heels or no. This show, he was dressed in tails and jeans. And had a goatee. Still wore eyeliner and lipgloss, apparently, though the lipgloss wasn't as shiny as he thought it was. Well, ok, for lipgloss to shine enough that you can see it through a goatee from 100 feet away would be some kind of extraterrestrial, super-duper lipgloss. Anyway. He riffed on the history of the world and god, and it was very intelligent, really. There's no doubt that he's a smart man - able to be very coherent all by himself for two hour long sets in front a thousands of people. The absolute best part for me, however, was the wonderful, inane raptor (as in velociraptor) wearing a trilby hat, driving a fast car buying a Persian cat and rug impression. You would have had to seen it. Sorry. It was good.
So today, I'm grateful for really many, many things. But one of the things I'm hugely grateful for is having developed a sense of grounding. Somewhere between my parents and family, my teachers, my friends, and my therapist, I feel that whichever way the wind blows, I've got a center that is solid and is mine. It's a rather complex and complicated topic, but I think a big part of having a solid core is knowing how to take care of yourself. Other people have ideas about how you should take care of yourself (really everyone), but you learn what's good for you and what's not good for you through trial and error. This is what's good about getting older - you realize there's crap and there's what works for you. Your best friend may have told you to try something, with all good intentions, but it was crap for you, and in the end, you have to take the responsibility for righting whatever crappy thing is was to make it right for yourself. And not be mad at your friend.
A few things I've learned: sleep enough, eat right, it takes practice to develop good habits, put on an extra pair of socks if your feet are cold. Taking care of your body and health is one of the most important things you must do and not cut corners on. Drink hot liquids, especially good teas. Dress warmly, bring layers, add and remove as necessary. Don't overdo anything, it's not worth the negative health effects. Happiness is internal. Moderation and diversity in all things, not the least with regard to chocolate. If it doesn't feel good, stop doing it. Rest and take your time. Rushing, especially the kind where you are worrying about ten different things at once, is a waste of time, and bad for your health.
People don't always realize that these simple self care items aren't as easy as they sound. I mean, why do people get themselves into jams of various sorts? Not always, but frequently, it's because they stopped taking care of themselves for a while. There was some excess in some direction. Keeping your eye on several balls at once, this is hard, no? I'm not sure I always know what is good for me and what's not, but there are several things I have learned about myself, and I am grateful to have gotten to this point at least!
Last night for dinner went to a place called Goody Glover's in Boston's North End. It's semi-Irish pub fare, although they seem to have a smattering of everything in between. My nose caught a whiff of some strong curry dish not long after smelling a delectable burger and fries the next table over. We had two intriguing appetizers - corned beef and cabbage egg rolls with a very nice mustard sauce and also potato bacon scallion spring rolls with hot sauce and sour cream. Very inventive and tasty. Recommend. Also had fish and chips, and I'm happy to report I really held back on the fries. Somewhere in upcoming Habit 4 is laying low on the fried foods.
The big idea, though, with this trip to Boston was that my cousin had bought tickets to see Eddie Izzard, a British transvestite comedian. He is funny. I had seen him in a video before, in full transvestite regalia, and thought he was the funniest guy I'd ever seen, in heels or no. This show, he was dressed in tails and jeans. And had a goatee. Still wore eyeliner and lipgloss, apparently, though the lipgloss wasn't as shiny as he thought it was. Well, ok, for lipgloss to shine enough that you can see it through a goatee from 100 feet away would be some kind of extraterrestrial, super-duper lipgloss. Anyway. He riffed on the history of the world and god, and it was very intelligent, really. There's no doubt that he's a smart man - able to be very coherent all by himself for two hour long sets in front a thousands of people. The absolute best part for me, however, was the wonderful, inane raptor (as in velociraptor) wearing a trilby hat, driving a fast car buying a Persian cat and rug impression. You would have had to seen it. Sorry. It was good.
So today, I'm grateful for really many, many things. But one of the things I'm hugely grateful for is having developed a sense of grounding. Somewhere between my parents and family, my teachers, my friends, and my therapist, I feel that whichever way the wind blows, I've got a center that is solid and is mine. It's a rather complex and complicated topic, but I think a big part of having a solid core is knowing how to take care of yourself. Other people have ideas about how you should take care of yourself (really everyone), but you learn what's good for you and what's not good for you through trial and error. This is what's good about getting older - you realize there's crap and there's what works for you. Your best friend may have told you to try something, with all good intentions, but it was crap for you, and in the end, you have to take the responsibility for righting whatever crappy thing is was to make it right for yourself. And not be mad at your friend.
A few things I've learned: sleep enough, eat right, it takes practice to develop good habits, put on an extra pair of socks if your feet are cold. Taking care of your body and health is one of the most important things you must do and not cut corners on. Drink hot liquids, especially good teas. Dress warmly, bring layers, add and remove as necessary. Don't overdo anything, it's not worth the negative health effects. Happiness is internal. Moderation and diversity in all things, not the least with regard to chocolate. If it doesn't feel good, stop doing it. Rest and take your time. Rushing, especially the kind where you are worrying about ten different things at once, is a waste of time, and bad for your health.
People don't always realize that these simple self care items aren't as easy as they sound. I mean, why do people get themselves into jams of various sorts? Not always, but frequently, it's because they stopped taking care of themselves for a while. There was some excess in some direction. Keeping your eye on several balls at once, this is hard, no? I'm not sure I always know what is good for me and what's not, but there are several things I have learned about myself, and I am grateful to have gotten to this point at least!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Day 2 - The Volvo 850 & Animal Tracks
Oy vey. It turns out not only do I have to exercise, but I have to not consume alcohol. Argh.
So I did my 5 minutes of exercise today, which actually was more like 20 although it was in fits and starts. Needed to do a lot more stretching for the aches and pains. I woke up way too early because my back was hurting.... God, how unreal is that? Waking up because of back pain. That's so wrong. But I think the real culprit was the fact that I had a tiny, but strong (and expensive) mug of hot buttered rum last night. Hot buttered rum, by the way, doesn't taste like the candy. Not that I can remember exactly what the candy tasted like - all I can tell you is that it's not the same. The beverage is tasty and has the added merit of being rather exotic to me, but I probably shouldn't have had it. Alcohol is, after all, toxic to the body, and this body doesn't need any more harm sent its way.
Fortunately, we're not on habit number 4 yet, which is cutting out all crap food from my diet, which I'm ramping up to. One word: beans.
What am I grateful for today (besides not yet being on Habit 4)? I was contemplating a few things last night. 1) my car - the wonderful, awesome, beloved, trustworthy, and mighty steed, the Volvo 850. Me and my '93 Volvo, we've been together for 13 years...it always gets me there and back, with no fuss, no drama. On balance, I think such a trust-filled relationship of any sort for that length of time is not that easy to come by. I am hopeful that the Volvo and I will make it through another few years to reach its 250,000 mile day. The question is, how does one honor a friend who is a machine? Regular oil changes and cleanings? It will be an emotional day the day the Volvo and I are no longer a team...
The second thing is animal tracks in snow...Cat, dog, deer, and probably a raccoon. Also have seen little tracks with a tail, probably mice. The cat tracks crack me up, I don't know why. Maybe because they seem so dainty and single minded in the snow. And cats are generally funny.
So I did my 5 minutes of exercise today, which actually was more like 20 although it was in fits and starts. Needed to do a lot more stretching for the aches and pains. I woke up way too early because my back was hurting.... God, how unreal is that? Waking up because of back pain. That's so wrong. But I think the real culprit was the fact that I had a tiny, but strong (and expensive) mug of hot buttered rum last night. Hot buttered rum, by the way, doesn't taste like the candy. Not that I can remember exactly what the candy tasted like - all I can tell you is that it's not the same. The beverage is tasty and has the added merit of being rather exotic to me, but I probably shouldn't have had it. Alcohol is, after all, toxic to the body, and this body doesn't need any more harm sent its way.
Fortunately, we're not on habit number 4 yet, which is cutting out all crap food from my diet, which I'm ramping up to. One word: beans.
What am I grateful for today (besides not yet being on Habit 4)? I was contemplating a few things last night. 1) my car - the wonderful, awesome, beloved, trustworthy, and mighty steed, the Volvo 850. Me and my '93 Volvo, we've been together for 13 years...it always gets me there and back, with no fuss, no drama. On balance, I think such a trust-filled relationship of any sort for that length of time is not that easy to come by. I am hopeful that the Volvo and I will make it through another few years to reach its 250,000 mile day. The question is, how does one honor a friend who is a machine? Regular oil changes and cleanings? It will be an emotional day the day the Volvo and I are no longer a team...
The second thing is animal tracks in snow...Cat, dog, deer, and probably a raccoon. Also have seen little tracks with a tail, probably mice. The cat tracks crack me up, I don't know why. Maybe because they seem so dainty and single minded in the snow. And cats are generally funny.
Monday, January 11, 2010
HABITS: DAY 1
Going to try something very simple. Set a couple of habits.
Habit 1: I've fallen off the exercise wagon - in fact, the exercise wagon is over in the next next state - but I recognize the dire need to get back on. So with a group of very simple exercises I can do at home, I'm going to try and get myself into the habit of doing them every day for about 5 minutes for 30 days.
Yes, 5 measly minutes.
I can do that. In fact, I did it this morning. I'm going to use this blog as a way to chart progress. Today's 5 minutes or so of exercise ended with about a minute or less of jogging in place. I was out of breath and uncomfortable. Also did a few jumping jacks which also left me out of breath. But my heart rate was definitely up!
Habit 2: Be thankful about 1 or a few things every day. Really think on and feel grateful for those things.
Today I am grateful for my family. Even though they are very imperfect people, they love me, and I love them. Love is one of the greatest things on earth. I'm especially grateful that we love each other in spite of our imperfections and failings. There is a certain depressive element within my family, but this doesn't stop us from deeply caring about each other and trying to help each other. Despite the depression, there are core lovable qualities about each of us. I'm so grateful for those things.
(Did you notice the hidden habit no. 3? Write in blog every day....blah!!)
Habit 1: I've fallen off the exercise wagon - in fact, the exercise wagon is over in the next next state - but I recognize the dire need to get back on. So with a group of very simple exercises I can do at home, I'm going to try and get myself into the habit of doing them every day for about 5 minutes for 30 days.
Yes, 5 measly minutes.
I can do that. In fact, I did it this morning. I'm going to use this blog as a way to chart progress. Today's 5 minutes or so of exercise ended with about a minute or less of jogging in place. I was out of breath and uncomfortable. Also did a few jumping jacks which also left me out of breath. But my heart rate was definitely up!
Habit 2: Be thankful about 1 or a few things every day. Really think on and feel grateful for those things.
Today I am grateful for my family. Even though they are very imperfect people, they love me, and I love them. Love is one of the greatest things on earth. I'm especially grateful that we love each other in spite of our imperfections and failings. There is a certain depressive element within my family, but this doesn't stop us from deeply caring about each other and trying to help each other. Despite the depression, there are core lovable qualities about each of us. I'm so grateful for those things.
(Did you notice the hidden habit no. 3? Write in blog every day....blah!!)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
A little laugh.
found on the web:
Pulling the Plug
Last night my husband and I were sitting in the den and I said to him, “I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
So he got up, unplugged the computer and threw out my wine.
Pulling the Plug
Last night my husband and I were sitting in the den and I said to him, “I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
So he got up, unplugged the computer and threw out my wine.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
A Male Point of View
Pro golfer and one-time matchmaker Jesper Parnevik isn't pleased with Tiger Woods following Woods' apology on Wednesday.
Tiger's wife, Elin Nordegren, worked as a family nanny for Parnevik before he introduced her to Woods. On Wednesday, Parnevik told reporters, essentially, he was sorry for setting up their relationship and that Nordegren should be a little tougher on her husband.
"I'm kind of filled with sorrow for Elin since me and my wife are at fault for hooking her up with him, and we probably thought he was a better guy than he is.
"I would probably have to apologize to her and hope she uses a driver next time instead of a three-iron."
It might be a good idea for Woods to keep his distance from Parnevik the next time he sees him on the fairway.
LA Times article
This is the kind of man I hope there are more of in the world. Not the seemingly more typical "well, that's just how boys play," which ignores the cost to the betrayed woman.
Tiger's wife, Elin Nordegren, worked as a family nanny for Parnevik before he introduced her to Woods. On Wednesday, Parnevik told reporters, essentially, he was sorry for setting up their relationship and that Nordegren should be a little tougher on her husband.
"I'm kind of filled with sorrow for Elin since me and my wife are at fault for hooking her up with him, and we probably thought he was a better guy than he is.
"I would probably have to apologize to her and hope she uses a driver next time instead of a three-iron."
It might be a good idea for Woods to keep his distance from Parnevik the next time he sees him on the fairway.
LA Times article
This is the kind of man I hope there are more of in the world. Not the seemingly more typical "well, that's just how boys play," which ignores the cost to the betrayed woman.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Pigou
"[I]t is evident that the transference of income from a relatively rich man to a relatively poor man of similar temperament, since it enables more intense wants to be satisfied at the expense of less intense wants, must increase the aggregate sum of satisfactions."
-Arthur Cecil Pigou
Like Robin Hood, eh?
Except we here at Toe in the Water like the Rule of Law.
-Arthur Cecil Pigou
Like Robin Hood, eh?
Except we here at Toe in the Water like the Rule of Law.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Scones
I really like scones. I like most food, but there's something satisfying about scones and tea or coffee. I also really like tea and coffee. So there.
I just baked two batches of scones. Here's one way to think about the parts to a scone:
Structure
Most scone recipes require about 1.75-2 cups; I used whole wheat flour. Flour provides the gluten in baked goods. I think of gluten as being like the skeleton on which the rest of the scone hangs. It also makes the skin, because it's elastic and stretches to accommodate things like fat, air, and fruit.
Leavening agents are baking soda and baking powder. Baking soda requires an acidic liquid to interact with it in order to make air bubbles. Baking powder does not require an acidic liquid. Remember experimenting with baking powder in elementary school science class? We had to make a volcano using baking powder. Brilliant exercise for hyper kids.
Volumizing flavor
Fat is tasty. Most scone recipes direct you to cut in solid butter. You cut it in because you want to intersperse it well, but you don't use melted butter, because that would risk de-activating the leavening agents. Fat also helps to bulk up the structure, adding heft and substance as well as tenderness to the structure. The other place where fat and substance comes in is through your reactive liquid moistening agent in the form of milk, buttermilk, or plain yogurt. Buttermilk and yogurt are acidic and if you use baking soda (which is basic), you would have to use one or the other to create your carbon dioxide bubbles in the flour. Powder and milk are fine together because baking powder is neutral.
Glue and texturizer
Making it all stick together is egg. It turns out egg isn't absolutely necessary for scones, but it does hold everything together and changes the texture a bit. It may make a difference if you beat the egg before adding it, or if you don't. I'm not sure at all. Guess which one I did? (Hint: lazy)
Taste, decoration and interest
Sugar is nice. It really is. And if you use agave nectar, be forewarned, you need a good amount. I also added a smattering of oats, some orange zest, and in one batch used cranberries, and in the other, currants.
Batch 1 - flour, risers (leavening agents), fat, yogurt, a dash of water, and agave nectar, then oats, cranberries and orange zest.
Notes: Forgot the egg, added too much liquid.
Results: Results were interesting. The risers were critical to preventing this from being a total flop (literally) as were the cranberries and orange zest. The agave nectar seemed to evaporate, because it doesn't really taste sweet at all.
Batch 2 - flour, risers, fat, yogurt, cane sugar and agave nectar, egg, then oats, currants and orange zest, a dash of nutmeg and cinnamon.
Notes: Baked it for maybe a smidge too long so that the edges were a bit fried.
Results: The interesting thing about this was that it really didn't hold its shape as well as the first batch, even though the first batch had a lot more liquid. I blame the yogurt (in both batches) for adding more than enough liquid. But it was very tasty because of the orange zest and butter interaction, perhaps also because of the spices. I was a little surprised. The basic structure of flour, risers, fat and sugar was intact as in the first batch, and the fruit was normal tasting, but somehow the interaction of the fat and orange zest added an extra measure of tastiness.
Hmm, further scone testing to come.
I just baked two batches of scones. Here's one way to think about the parts to a scone:
Structure
Most scone recipes require about 1.75-2 cups; I used whole wheat flour. Flour provides the gluten in baked goods. I think of gluten as being like the skeleton on which the rest of the scone hangs. It also makes the skin, because it's elastic and stretches to accommodate things like fat, air, and fruit.
Leavening agents are baking soda and baking powder. Baking soda requires an acidic liquid to interact with it in order to make air bubbles. Baking powder does not require an acidic liquid. Remember experimenting with baking powder in elementary school science class? We had to make a volcano using baking powder. Brilliant exercise for hyper kids.
Volumizing flavor
Fat is tasty. Most scone recipes direct you to cut in solid butter. You cut it in because you want to intersperse it well, but you don't use melted butter, because that would risk de-activating the leavening agents. Fat also helps to bulk up the structure, adding heft and substance as well as tenderness to the structure. The other place where fat and substance comes in is through your reactive liquid moistening agent in the form of milk, buttermilk, or plain yogurt. Buttermilk and yogurt are acidic and if you use baking soda (which is basic), you would have to use one or the other to create your carbon dioxide bubbles in the flour. Powder and milk are fine together because baking powder is neutral.
Glue and texturizer
Making it all stick together is egg. It turns out egg isn't absolutely necessary for scones, but it does hold everything together and changes the texture a bit. It may make a difference if you beat the egg before adding it, or if you don't. I'm not sure at all. Guess which one I did? (Hint: lazy)
Taste, decoration and interest
Sugar is nice. It really is. And if you use agave nectar, be forewarned, you need a good amount. I also added a smattering of oats, some orange zest, and in one batch used cranberries, and in the other, currants.
Batch 1 - flour, risers (leavening agents), fat, yogurt, a dash of water, and agave nectar, then oats, cranberries and orange zest.
Notes: Forgot the egg, added too much liquid.
Results: Results were interesting. The risers were critical to preventing this from being a total flop (literally) as were the cranberries and orange zest. The agave nectar seemed to evaporate, because it doesn't really taste sweet at all.
Batch 2 - flour, risers, fat, yogurt, cane sugar and agave nectar, egg, then oats, currants and orange zest, a dash of nutmeg and cinnamon.
Notes: Baked it for maybe a smidge too long so that the edges were a bit fried.
Results: The interesting thing about this was that it really didn't hold its shape as well as the first batch, even though the first batch had a lot more liquid. I blame the yogurt (in both batches) for adding more than enough liquid. But it was very tasty because of the orange zest and butter interaction, perhaps also because of the spices. I was a little surprised. The basic structure of flour, risers, fat and sugar was intact as in the first batch, and the fruit was normal tasting, but somehow the interaction of the fat and orange zest added an extra measure of tastiness.
Hmm, further scone testing to come.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
This will tell you how old I am not.
I was a little shocked to find that two of President Obama's speechwriters are 27 and 31 years old, respectively.
Ben Rhodes, Deputy National Security Advisor for Strategic Communications, is 31, or perhaps just turned 32. He celebrated a birthday on AirForceOne very recently. On the White House's LinkedIn page, Ben Rhodes has a little video where he talks about going to China on AirForce One. I first clicked on the video (might not be able to get into it without a LinkedIn account) thinking that the image of the very young looking man was something else, but no, it was Ben Rhodes, looking and sounding quite young - to me.
My over-achiever complex kicks in, right around the gut. This ingrained desire to achieve thing is crazy making. Obviously, relatively very few people, of any age, can get onto a flight with the President, but when one begins to feel the overachiever complex start up with a direct age comparison, well...it calls into question a few things.
The first reaction is, "I'm behind!" and "I'm not achieving enough." This is an immediate and direct comparison borne of years and years of being taught competitiveness. Let's call this part of self Miss Stress Monkey.
The second reaction then is "What am I doing wrong?" Stress Monkey has called in Eeyore, the lamenter, depression-addict. We have worked hard at knowing when Eeyore starts pulling, and knowing that going anyplace with Eeyore SUCKS, and since we don't have any desire to go down with Eeyore, we call in -
Miss Realistic: "His background and mine are completely different."
"What other way could I be achieving something equivalent, or at least something just plain satisfying within the context of my background?" The Planner/Strategizer.
"Wait. Stop. Craziness. Everyone is on their own path for a reason. Everyone's path has to be unique. Ben Rhodes probably didn't perform Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto with an orchestra at age 17. " (OK, so little Miss Competitive gets her jab in.) This is the Voice of Reason, sometimes known as the Wise Woman. Breaking into the downward spiral of anxiety and self-criticism, the V.o.R. makes it clear that we have our own set of circumstances, a very specific life with our own senses creating our very own set of sensory input, and creating our very own specific set of emotions. Ben Rhodes has very little to do with my being in the here and now. Instead, I have everything to do with what is happening inside my head right now. I can choose.
"What are my goals?" Reintegrate all the parts and refocus. "However I ended up on my path, at least I'm not in the Sarah Palin camp." Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
That really puts it into perspective - Ben Rhodes, wunderkind, versus Sarah Palin, representative of blight on the collective American psyche. This brings up other questions (the value of the achievements of a 31-year old speechwriter versus those of a mid-40s celebrity figure), but suffice to say, the above internal interaction is a decent method for dealing with the unpleasant feelings of jealousy and anxiety that the overachiever complex always brings forward.
End self therapy session today. whew.
Ben Rhodes, Deputy National Security Advisor for Strategic Communications, is 31, or perhaps just turned 32. He celebrated a birthday on AirForceOne very recently. On the White House's LinkedIn page, Ben Rhodes has a little video where he talks about going to China on AirForce One. I first clicked on the video (might not be able to get into it without a LinkedIn account) thinking that the image of the very young looking man was something else, but no, it was Ben Rhodes, looking and sounding quite young - to me.
My over-achiever complex kicks in, right around the gut. This ingrained desire to achieve thing is crazy making. Obviously, relatively very few people, of any age, can get onto a flight with the President, but when one begins to feel the overachiever complex start up with a direct age comparison, well...it calls into question a few things.
The first reaction is, "I'm behind!" and "I'm not achieving enough." This is an immediate and direct comparison borne of years and years of being taught competitiveness. Let's call this part of self Miss Stress Monkey.
The second reaction then is "What am I doing wrong?" Stress Monkey has called in Eeyore, the lamenter, depression-addict. We have worked hard at knowing when Eeyore starts pulling, and knowing that going anyplace with Eeyore SUCKS, and since we don't have any desire to go down with Eeyore, we call in -
Miss Realistic: "His background and mine are completely different."
"What other way could I be achieving something equivalent, or at least something just plain satisfying within the context of my background?" The Planner/Strategizer.
"Wait. Stop. Craziness. Everyone is on their own path for a reason. Everyone's path has to be unique. Ben Rhodes probably didn't perform Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto with an orchestra at age 17. " (OK, so little Miss Competitive gets her jab in.) This is the Voice of Reason, sometimes known as the Wise Woman. Breaking into the downward spiral of anxiety and self-criticism, the V.o.R. makes it clear that we have our own set of circumstances, a very specific life with our own senses creating our very own set of sensory input, and creating our very own specific set of emotions. Ben Rhodes has very little to do with my being in the here and now. Instead, I have everything to do with what is happening inside my head right now. I can choose.
"What are my goals?" Reintegrate all the parts and refocus. "However I ended up on my path, at least I'm not in the Sarah Palin camp." Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
That really puts it into perspective - Ben Rhodes, wunderkind, versus Sarah Palin, representative of blight on the collective American psyche. This brings up other questions (the value of the achievements of a 31-year old speechwriter versus those of a mid-40s celebrity figure), but suffice to say, the above internal interaction is a decent method for dealing with the unpleasant feelings of jealousy and anxiety that the overachiever complex always brings forward.
End self therapy session today. whew.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Oh my WORD.
Just ventured into the world of ebooks, a little toe in the water, as it were...and I've got serious sensory overload going on at the moment.
Problem: There are a million ways to get your daily allotment of reading in, and there's seriously too much information out there.
Solution 1: Get very specific about goals and what you really want, then go after that information.
Solution 2: Set up arbitrary rules that guide your reading. Like ignore anything that doesn't have a good graphical interface or have good graphic design quality.
Solution 3: Stick with a favorite format - paper, no plastic.
Solution 4: Stop reading, start taking psychedelic drugs, and bliss out.
Problem: There are a million ways to get your daily allotment of reading in, and there's seriously too much information out there.
Solution 1: Get very specific about goals and what you really want, then go after that information.
Solution 2: Set up arbitrary rules that guide your reading. Like ignore anything that doesn't have a good graphical interface or have good graphic design quality.
Solution 3: Stick with a favorite format - paper, no plastic.
Solution 4: Stop reading, start taking psychedelic drugs, and bliss out.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
IDEA: An electronic Notebook, with pages.
A computer (tablet PC, netbook type thing, Kindle type device) that is actually like a notebook?
Something you can flip through the pages, and the pages are not unlike a scrapbook, except you can organize the files, bookmarked webpages, excel sheets, word docs, pdfs, sticky notes, calendar, etc. by date, subject, alphabetically, category...
The Kindle is probably the closest thing to this, but can it go farther? And it might as well have a phone on it and a USB connection for freak's sake.
How do you organize all your myriad ideas?
Something you can flip through the pages, and the pages are not unlike a scrapbook, except you can organize the files, bookmarked webpages, excel sheets, word docs, pdfs, sticky notes, calendar, etc. by date, subject, alphabetically, category...
The Kindle is probably the closest thing to this, but can it go farther? And it might as well have a phone on it and a USB connection for freak's sake.
How do you organize all your myriad ideas?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Detroit?
One of the things I get off on is new, wacky ideas. I'm terribly intrigued by them, and I like spinning off my own ideas from them. That said, I'm good at the ideas, not great with the implementation. But hey, I started this blog thing, that's a step in the general direction...right?
Anyway, Detroit. I came across a couple of articles that made my creative, idea-hungry brain go "OVERLOAD! OVERLOAD!" In a nutshell, Detroit is reverting back to grass and brush. It's the "incredible shrinking city" and for the right people, it's the land of opportunity. It is SO COOL the things that one could do there...a 2-story beehive? Selling raccoon carcasses for $12 a piece? OK, that's not cool, it's kind of gross, but apparently, there is a protein shortage in that city. (shakes her head in bewildered disbelief)
One of the things that caught my attention on this was the move towards anarchy in this city, or at the very least, a real laissez-faire approach to regulation. Calling all true Republicans! Here's your chance to prove less government is better! Rebuild this city into a true capitalist meritocracy, then prove your point to the nation. Just don't take any taxpayer dollars to do it. And don't mow over any disadvantaged minorities.
Here are a couple articles:
http://www.newgeography.com/content/001171-detroit-urban-laboratory-and-new-american-frontier - awesome photos.
http://www.guernicamag.com/spotlight/1182/food_among_the_ruins/ - the case for farming the city.
http://www.urbanophile.com/what-i-believe/ - the blog of the guy who wrote the New Geography piece.
This is beginning to remind me why architecture can be cool.
Anyway, Detroit. I came across a couple of articles that made my creative, idea-hungry brain go "OVERLOAD! OVERLOAD!" In a nutshell, Detroit is reverting back to grass and brush. It's the "incredible shrinking city" and for the right people, it's the land of opportunity. It is SO COOL the things that one could do there...a 2-story beehive? Selling raccoon carcasses for $12 a piece? OK, that's not cool, it's kind of gross, but apparently, there is a protein shortage in that city. (shakes her head in bewildered disbelief)
One of the things that caught my attention on this was the move towards anarchy in this city, or at the very least, a real laissez-faire approach to regulation. Calling all true Republicans! Here's your chance to prove less government is better! Rebuild this city into a true capitalist meritocracy, then prove your point to the nation. Just don't take any taxpayer dollars to do it. And don't mow over any disadvantaged minorities.
Here are a couple articles:
http://www.newgeography.com/content/001171-detroit-urban-laboratory-and-new-american-frontier - awesome photos.
http://www.guernicamag.com/spotlight/1182/food_among_the_ruins/ - the case for farming the city.
http://www.urbanophile.com/what-i-believe/ - the blog of the guy who wrote the New Geography piece.
This is beginning to remind me why architecture can be cool.
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