Exercise today was good. It was definitely the first thing I wanted to do when I got out of bed this morning, despite a slightly sore throat. I'm noticing that my arms don't feel quite as bad when I sleep with them over my head, which is a naturally comfortable position for me. This is great. Elbows and wrist still hurt, but I'm starting to feel that it's something I can have some control over, versus the pain bringing me down. I actually felt like I could go longer with the jogging around my house. I think as we come out of winter, it will only get easier to do more. The calisthenics and stretches are wonderful. As is the buckets of vegetables and good eating.
So, I have had this house for five years. There have been many ups and down with it, and I focused much more on the downs than the ups. They literally were driving me crazy, and I have wanted to move out almost since the first year I lived here. There was the carpet, the mice, the allergies, the cold, etc. I got white hairs because of the house. Then there were stresses at work, and I felt I had no place of refuge between work and home. Life was bad. Well, being laid off turned out to be that proverbial blessing in disguise as I've been able to really live in my house. Granted, there are still a few things that aren't perfect and that lead me to want to move still, but what I've found is that it is a cozy size, the first floor being almost a perfect amount of square footage for me, with a beautiful kitchen and plenty of light in the living room when it's sunny. It has nice hardwood floors, good working appliances, and it's not going to fall down!
I don't know why, but early on, as I was trying to fix the place up, I somehow became convinced that the house was just minutes away from going up in flames, or it was going to fall over, or have some structural issue that threatened to bring my life to utter ruin. Well, none of that has happened, surprise of surprises. What has happened, is that since I've spent more time in the house, I've learned the sweet spot for living here, and when the sun is shining, it's absolutely lovely to be in the main living areas of the first floor. It accommodates most of the things I want and need to do easily and well. I never thought I'd feel this way about this house, but I have to admit, at this point, I do. Voila. So, I'm grateful for being laid off and living in this house.
That's transformation for you. And what's an anecdote without a lesson? The lesson is to never take things to an extreme without just cause. It's bad for your health.
this post makes me laugh so much. whew.
ReplyDeletemeow.
thanks for that. I'm so glad you're appreciating the house now.
and as one good turn deserves another...
I'm going to think more deeply about what I'm thankful for today. I have been so stressed out today that as I was walking to school and for most of the morning I've been saying to myself I'm so miserable I want to die. and now that I'm at my office. I dont' have my papers graded yet, I haven't finished the last ASC interview report I have to turn in, and I missed the lab lecture period today that I'm responsible for going to and telling my students about... and so I've made myself feel misrable becuase I'm going over this long list of what I had to do by the end of yesterday that I didn't do. then bec my house was too cold last night and my muscles hurt and Iw as terrified of walking to work inthe cold, I put on too many layers and crid halfway to school bec I had too many clotheson they bind my legss and arms and I was miserable carrying evrythign I needed to carry
and so now I'm going to choose to focus on the good... becuase reading how you focusedon good makes me remember that happiness really is a choice.
so I am happy that there is here in my mind a moment of calm and peace. I am happy that I can remember how much I loveyou. how much I love being able to breathe fully and deeply with my whole chest. my sternum is free. how I know that I have worth still becuase I am a really good interviewer , how I am and can be proud of the fact that for the past three weks I was doing a really good job taking care of myself until this past wekend. but that this actually means I can pick myself up and fix it.. I can master myself and start over again. this isn't the end of the world.. I'm just beginning again. and that is ok. it is part of life and part of me and who I am and the life I lead.
I am happy becuase I have strength and feeling pain means I can feel. Feeling tired means I have been well-rested before this. and I can regain that. I choose to do good for myself and I will keep trying.
thank you for helping me and being my partner as we try to lift you/our/myself up.